She’s a Mean One, Mrs. Grinch

I am standing in line at the Safeway checkout. It’s 8:00 a.m., an hour after I’d hoped to be doing my Christmas Eve dinner shopping and about three hours earlier than I wanted to be out of bed. I’m tired. Dead-ass tired. My body aches all over, every muscle feeling sore like I did a hardcore workout with a personal trainer the day before (I didn’t) and my vision is all wonky and weird. I feel dizzy when I turn my head. My Christmas spirit has flown the coup to be replaced by a this-is-supposed-to-be-fun? feeling. I am pissed off because Safeway does such a lousy job of stocking their shelves during the holidays. They were out of organic whipped cream, the only kind of chip dip my family likes and one other item that I can’t remember.

I lean on my cart, wondering what is taking so long with the customer in front of me who only had a few items. I look to see what the hold-up is and notice that she has a stack of tabloids four inches high and a stack of newspapers three inches high, all of which have to be rung up separately. Of course I had to get behind this person! My stuff is already on the conveyor belt thing so I stay. And wait. And judge this woman for reading such garbage. My back aches. I feel myself listing to one side and I grab my cart a little tighter.

Finally, after half an eternity, I’m up. The checker starts scanning my stuff and I start trying to remember the steps to paying with my debit card. I slide it before entering my phone # and wonder why it isn’t working. As I puzzle over this, the bright-eyed young bag girl asks, “are you ready for Christmas?”

I look at her and can’t summon up even the smallest amount of fake excitement. “Ready for it to be over.” I say. Her eyes get huge and quickly looks back down at the groceries.

I am tempted to tell her to just wait. Once she’s old enough to have to do all the work to put a holiday mean together, she won’t enjoy Christmas anymore either. But I don’t. I bite my tongue and limp away with my cart, leaning heavily on it to avoid keeling over.

That was yesterday. Today I am even more tired and have an entire dinner to cook and a house to clean, apparently all by myself since no one helpful (i.e. my husband) is around. But I just took a hydrocodone so hopefully that will have me feeling a little less achy and a lot more jolly. I am looking forward to dinner, visiting with my dad, presents with the guys and Baby Dog in the morning and time with family tomorrow afternoon. It’s all good, it’s just hell getting there.

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I’ll leave you with a grainy picture of my Christmas tree and my heartfelt wishes that you have a wonderful, relaxing Christmas Eve and morning.

5 thoughts on “She’s a Mean One, Mrs. Grinch

  1. I did it easy this year – simply didn’t bother doing anything beyond getting a ham – it was so refreshing not to stress and exhaust myself and I don’t even have your health condition. I think you are a SAINT! Happy Christmas to you my friend xxx

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