I always tell myself I’m going to have a good summer, that this year I will have a good attitude, see the good in life and be happy.
So far, it hasn’t worked. I just feel this inexplicable, uneasy sense of discontent come over me as soon as school is out for the summer. When my kids were little and prone to constant fighting and inviting half the neighborhood over on a daily basis, the feeling was understandable. But now? I don’t know what it’s about. It’s not that I don’t want the boys home. I actually enjoy having them around, so I don’t think my unhappiness and uneasiness has anything to do with them.
Maybe it’s just as simple as this: I don’t like summer. It’s too hot. The sun is too bright. The days are too long. The nights are too short. It’s too dry. There are too many bugs. Too many people are out and about. There’s road construction everywhere.
I really just don’t like it and wish it were over already, which makes for months of misery ahead if I can’t change my attitude. I’ve read that some people have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder that causes summer depression and I’ve often wondered if I could have it, although it’s more irritability than depression that I’m afflicted with. Or, maybe I’m over all that and just don’t know it because I’m unhappy about having to be on the go all the time for baseball. It’s a mystery.
I guess since I don’t have the answers for my hatred of summer, I’ll settle for answering Cee’s Share Your World questions.
What did you or did not like about the first apartment you ever rented? I didn’t like all the creepy things that happened at my first apartment. First, the matching sweatshirts my roommate and I wore when we rented the place went missing. Then, a huge frying pan disappeared from our kitchen. Then, we found the missing sweatshirts rolled up in the hide-a-bed, which we had never had opened before. Then, things got really scary when I heard someone come in the apartment at night when my roommate was gone. It happened several times but management didn’t believe us and refused to change the locks.
What kind of art is your favorite? Why? I like spiritual art, especially art that depicts spirit animals. I have a Jody Bergsma print on my wall that shows a woman sitting by a horse in a desolate landscape. The clouds above have taken on the shape of several animals. The quote at the bottom is, “sometimes I’m by myself but I’m never alone.” This is how I feel when I’m out in nature. I guess I like this kind of art because it shows how I feel. Sometimes I feel like an animal is with me, even when there’s not one physically nearby.
How many siblings do you have? What’s your birth order? I have one brother. He is three years younger than me. I just found this photo of us:
Complete this sentence: I’m dreaming of a white …. (and no you can’t use Christmas as your answer) I’m dreaming of a white wine that doesn’t feel like battery acid going down. I crave wine but it gives me instant heartburn and most of the red is too dry and has too much of a bite for me. A good white wine might help me quench those wine cravings and take the edge off my summer uneasiness. I’m such a wimp when it comes to alcohol that a thimble full would be enough!
Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? Last week I was grateful to be done with Daniel’s previous coach when Daniel decided to finish out the season with another team. The guy just made my blood pressure go up and I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. This week…I don’t know. I’m having trouble looking forward to anything except the end of the baseball season and the end of the summer.
I promise, I won’t complain all summer. I will look for the beauty and the blessings and I will share them as I find them. 🙂