Share Your World · Uncategorized

Sharing My World – Week 25

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I always tell myself I’m going to have a good summer, that this year I will have a good attitude, see the good in life and be happy.

So far, it hasn’t worked. I just feel this inexplicable, uneasy sense of discontent come over me as soon as school is out for the summer. When my kids were little and prone to constant fighting and inviting half the neighborhood over on a daily basis, the feeling was understandable. But now? I don’t know what it’s about. It’s not that I don’t want the boys home. I actually enjoy having them around, so I don’t think my unhappiness and uneasiness has anything to do with them.

Maybe it’s just as simple as this: I don’t like summer. It’s too hot. The sun is too bright. The days are too long. The nights are too short. It’s too dry. There are too many bugs. Too many people are out and about. There’s road construction everywhere.

I really just don’t like it and wish it were over already, which makes for months of misery ahead if I can’t change my attitude. I’ve read that some people have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder that causes summer depression and I’ve often wondered if I could have it, although it’s more irritability than depression that I’m afflicted with. Or, maybe I’m over all that and just don’t know it because I’m unhappy about having to be on the go all the time for baseball. It’s a mystery.

I guess since I don’t have the answers for my hatred of summer, I’ll settle for answering Cee’s Share Your World questions.

What did you or did not like about the first apartment you ever rented? I didn’t like all the creepy things that happened at my first apartment. First, the matching sweatshirts my roommate and I wore when we rented the place went missing. Then, a huge frying pan disappeared from our kitchen. Then, we found the missing sweatshirts rolled up in the hide-a-bed, which we had never had opened before. Then, things got really scary when I heard someone come in the apartment at night when my roommate was gone. It happened several times but management didn’t believe us and refused to change the locks.

What kind of art is your favorite? Why? I like spiritual art, especially art that depicts spirit animals. I have a Jody Bergsma print on my wall that shows a woman sitting by a horse in a desolate landscape. The clouds above have taken on the shape of several animals. The quote at the bottom is, “sometimes I’m by myself but I’m never alone.” This is how I feel when I’m out in nature. I guess I like this kind of art because it shows how I feel. Sometimes I feel like an animal is with me, even when there’s not one physically nearby.

How many siblings do you have? What’s your birth order? I have one brother. He is three years younger than me. I just found this photo of us:

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Complete this sentence:  I’m dreaming of a white …. (and no you can’t use Christmas as your answer) I’m dreaming of a white wine that doesn’t feel like battery acid going down. I crave wine but it gives me instant heartburn and most of the red is too dry and has too much of a bite for me. A good white wine might help me quench those wine cravings and take the edge off my summer uneasiness. I’m such a wimp when it comes to alcohol that a thimble full would be enough!  

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?  Last week I was grateful to be done with Daniel’s previous coach when Daniel decided to finish out the season with another team. The guy just made my blood pressure go up and I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. This week…I don’t know. I’m having trouble looking forward to anything except the end of the baseball season and the end of the summer.

I promise, I won’t complain all summer. I will look for the beauty and the blessings and I will share them as I find them. 🙂

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18 thoughts on “Sharing My World – Week 25

    1. The landlord definitely failed us. I ended up moving out because my friend was staying the night at her boyfriend’s place all the time and I didn’t want to be there alone.

  1. I think the heat is really hard on us. I know I can’t stand it. I stayed locked up (not really locked) in my house most of the time. Especially once it gets over 80 and especially 85 on up. Thanks for sharing. Jody Bergsma art looks quite interesting.

    1. When it’s hot, I stay indoors most of the time too, probably too much because I had a vitamin D deficiency at the end of last summer. I like the sun…when it’s cooler and weaker and half hidden behind trees. 🙂

  2. I totally relate to your feelings about summer in your “simple as this” paragraph. My perfect summer day is about 68 degrees with white puffy clouds and a breeze blowing. We’ve had such a warm spring and early start to summer it seems like we mostly skipped over my favorite weather and jumped to always-sitting-in-front-of-a-fan weather.

    I do love the long evenings though. I’m fascinated by how dramatically the sun shifts north at sunset and the long periods of twilight. The changes between winter and summer are amazing to me. I could do without it starting to get light ridiculously early though!

    1. Your perfect summer day is my ideal summer day too! I do like the long evenings and the long twilight, I just wish we could stretch out the hours of darkness before bedtime a little too. I need a couple of hours of reading or watching TV before I’m ready for bed. During these short nights, morning gets here far too soon!

      I am also fascinated by the changes of the seasons. I particularly enjoy the changes we see from late August to mid October. I don’t know why, but to me they seem more noticeable than the changes from spring to summer.

  3. Your apartment story was scary. I just read a story about a man who found food went missing from his apartment and he accused his girlfriend of eating his food. She swore that it wasn’t her so he set up a video camera and discovered that a women was living in a small storage area in his apartment and coming out at night and raiding his fridge and pantry. The police figured that she had been in his apartment for about two weeks.

    1. How freaky to think of someone lurking inside your apartment! I guess that’s the good thing about me having a dog that barks at everything: no one could get away with that!

  4. Pretty blossoms! That would creep me out, too, knowing someone could get into the apartment. I feel better when it’s warm, but it’s been too hot to hike and I really miss that!

    1. My pain is less sharp in warm weather, if that makes any sense. I feel much better if I go to a dry climate – it’s like the aches and pains just melt away. I often wonder if there’s a perfect climate for people with fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain!

  5. Nothing like a good rant and I can assure you, as a fellow FM sufferer and solitary person who likes being out in nature, I can share your feelings.

    Took me a long time to learn how to appreciate my blessings and be positive. It’s not easy after so many years of pain and difficulty in a very social working environment (which I didn’t like).

    The only positive thing in the long hot summer is……….this too (the summer) will pass. Nothing ever stays the same.

    1. The knowledge that this too will pass is what gets me through! I swear time slows down in July and August though. No two months drag on for so long. I’m just so tired in hot weather. Every little thing becomes so extremely difficult, sometimes to the point of feeling impossible. I was hoping my new combination of adaptogenic herbs would help. They made a huge difference in the cooler months but don’t seem to be helping now.

      1. Yes, I tried some adaptogenic herbs years ago too. Unfortunately, a frugal Disability Pension no longer allows me the ‘luxury’ of herbal medicine and alternative treatment, Trisha. The only real things I can afford (apart from Calcium, Fish Oil & B12) are changing keeping my Thoughts and Physical activity positive and active.

    1. It does! I never understand people who are all like, “I can’t wait for summer!” It truly baffles me how anyone could enjoy being hot. And what about those freaks who exercise in the hot sun?

  6. Oh gosh, the road construction during the summer months really is the pits. I mean I’m glad they’re repairing the pits, but ugh what a bother. We have a saying here that we only have 2 seasons in Minnesota – winter and road construction. Feels like it sometimes.
    Oh! I have a white wine to recommend… Castello del Poggio Moscato it’s my favorite and sooooo delicious! I don’t know if it would give you heartburn, but it’s worth trying.
    I’m so glad to hear that Daniel switched teams and that the both of you are relieved from having to deal with that A-hole of a coach. I hope the rest of the season goes easier on you.
    That photo of you with your brother is absolutely adorable, you were such a cute kid! 🙂
    Hang in there and stay cool this summer, my friend. ❤

  7. I will look for some of that moscato. Thank you for the recommendation!

    Road construction is such a pain. It would be nice if they would just focus on a couple of areas at a time instead of tearing up a bunch of roads at once. Sometimes it seems like it’s impossible to get anywhere without hitting road construction.

    The baseball season will wind down after this weekend and I’m so glad. I want to get out and enjoy life again. It seems like all I do is go and get ready to go. It’s no wonder I’m grumpy!

    I hope you are doing well and more peaceful times are ahead. You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I hope all is well.

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