Yesterday, I did a small amount of walking at a local (and lame) park and cleaned like two things. Today, I’m completely wiped out and all my muscles ache like I did a triathlon without training for it. My brain is basically a useless lump of tissue, incapable of even putting together a Share Your World post.
It’s really disappointing to experience such a huge setback after improving so much over the last year.
I’m reading a book, Diagnosis and Treatment of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – it’s mitochondria, not hypochondria, that lays out a good protocol for treating chronic fatigue. The problem is, part of the treatment is the Paleo diet, which is based on meat and vegetables, the two most labor-intensive food groups. How is a person supposed to rest and spend the day in the kitchen preparing meals? The other problem is that one of the key supplements in the protocol – D-ribose – is derived from corn and I’m allergic to corn. I tried it for a couple of weeks (I seem to be able to get away with small amounts of corn starch) and I experienced major night-time hotness. Like feeling like the memory foam was going to burst into flames underneath me, even with no covers and the fan blowing on me kind of hotness. I stopped the D-ribose and have returned to my usual level of overly warm at night.
I don’t mean to be a downer but I’m feeling discouraged at the moment. Every day there is more that needs to be done than I can possibly do. In the day time, Smarty ejects buckets of blonde hair onto the floor. At night, Trouble tears chunks of his woolly black hair out and deposits them on the floor. Then there’s the puking up of hairballs and the tracking in of outside dirt. I love my kitties but they are dirty creatures! Then, there are the teenagers. The hall bathroom is nasty-gas-station-bathroom gross again. I clean the kitchen and someone immediately comes in and dirties it up again. I need to exercise to lose some weight but I don’t have the energy. I’ve gone up a pants size over the summer. I haven’t visited my parents since…I can’t even remember when.
This is the reality of being a parent when you have a chronic illness. So, if you know anyone with a chronic illness, for god’s sake, cut them some slack! Don’t give them a hard time about not calling or visiting. Don’t judge them for never achieving any goals. Just getting through the maintenance stuff that has to be done can be overwhelmingly hard and takes every bit of energy they have.
Time is short when you move super slow.
Now, I’m off to eat a healthy, grain-free lunch that would make a caveman proud! Yeah, right….