depression · photos

April Gone By

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As I walked through my neighborhood this morning, I was amazed by all the flowers in bloom and by all the already-fading blooms, like the lilacs. April is nearly gone and I pretty much missed it. The truth is, I just haven’t felt much like myself since…oh, about the time we went on daylight savings time.

The last time I paid any attention to my clematis it looked liked this:

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And now, somehow, it looks like this:

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And the bright and cheery dandelion blooms have already become this:

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And my Spanish lavender is already blooming. Lavender! Isn’t that supposed to be a summer thing?

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How did all this happen without me, who is usually so tuned into nature, noticing?

I guess I have been hiding indoors because of allergies but it’s more than that. I’ve fallen into a funk.

I’m not looking forward to the next four months of life being too hot and too bright for too many hours of the day. Of the busyness of Daniel’s baseball season. I wonder if I would be okay if we didn’t have daylight savings time and I could have eased into the season of brightness more gradually. I wonder if I would feel better if my calendar weren’t full of baseball games in places that I don’t want to drive to. I wonder if I would feel better mentally and emotionally if I didn’t feel so bad physically. This allergy season has really taken a toll on my dysfunctional immune system. I’ve been battling pain and stiffness from chronic inflammation for two months and my morphea spots are spreading from where my immune system is attacking my skin. Right now, immune suppressing drugs and antidepressants don’t seem like such a bad idea!

While I’m not sure which issue is the cause of my funk, or if they all are, I am sure that I want to break out of it. Before May and June pass me by like April did.

I’m okay with July and August passing me by. I hate them.

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15 thoughts on “April Gone By

    1. Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed them. I think part of my funk has been about not feeling well enough to get out to take photos so taking these helped, even though I didn’t get out of my yard.

  1. Nice pictures showing how quickly everything can change.

    Your last two sentences made me laugh out loud. I agree with you 100%.

    I haven’t been in any worse funk than usual, yet I am amazed that April is almost gone. I have no idea where it went, but it seemed to speed by without me aboard for most of it.

    1. So, it’s not just me then – April really did fly by! It’s nice knowing someone else who despises July and August. Most people don’t understand my dislike of them.

  2. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those dandelions up close and in focus before. It reminds me of those geodesic domes. I made my passionate plea to get rid of DST, but as usual, nobody in charge listened to reason…

      1. I actually wish we’d switch to Daylight Saving Time year-round. Then we could do away with the spring and fall time shifts, and it would get dark an hour later in winter. Not generally being a morning person, those December days are awfully short for me!

        1. For me, the lack of light in the morning is harder than it getting dark so early. Days that short are just really inconvenient…but strangely easier for me than the super long days of summer.

  3. Omygosh Trisha these are stunning photos! So sorry to hear you’ve been in a funk lately, I’ve been in a bit of one myself as well, but for different reasons than yours. Hope you’re feeling more like yourself soon. Hugs ❤

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