As I walked through my neighborhood this morning, I was amazed by all the flowers in bloom and by all the already-fading blooms, like the lilacs. April is nearly gone and I pretty much missed it. The truth is, I just haven’t felt much like myself since…oh, about the time we went on daylight savings time.
The last time I paid any attention to my clematis it looked liked this:
And now, somehow, it looks like this:
And the bright and cheery dandelion blooms have already become this:
And my Spanish lavender is already blooming. Lavender! Isn’t that supposed to be a summer thing?
How did all this happen without me, who is usually so tuned into nature, noticing?
I guess I have been hiding indoors because of allergies but it’s more than that. I’ve fallen into a funk.
I’m not looking forward to the next four months of life being too hot and too bright for too many hours of the day. Of the busyness of Daniel’s baseball season. I wonder if I would be okay if we didn’t have daylight savings time and I could have eased into the season of brightness more gradually. I wonder if I would feel better if my calendar weren’t full of baseball games in places that I don’t want to drive to. I wonder if I would feel better mentally and emotionally if I didn’t feel so bad physically. This allergy season has really taken a toll on my dysfunctional immune system. I’ve been battling pain and stiffness from chronic inflammation for two months and my morphea spots are spreading from where my immune system is attacking my skin. Right now, immune suppressing drugs and antidepressants don’t seem like such a bad idea!
While I’m not sure which issue is the cause of my funk, or if they all are, I am sure that I want to break out of it. Before May and June pass me by like April did.
I’m okay with July and August passing me by. I hate them.